


The Queen's Lament

by Freya_drabbles



Category: Elsa/Anna - Fandom, Frozen (Disney Movies), elsanna - Fandom, elsaxanna
Genre: F/F, Incest, icest - Freeform, sisterxsister
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29085345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freya_drabbles/pseuds/Freya_drabbles
Summary: Once again Anna turned to her old confidants, the portraits in the painting room, this time it was different but everything felt exactly the same.
Relationships: Elsanna
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

Once again, as so many times in recent months, Anna walked the deserted corridors of Arendelle Castle, lost in distant thoughts. She didn’t remember the moment it had started, only that the feeling had been with her stored in a corner of her heart since she could remember. She unconsciously put a hand to her chest, where that feeling resided and where the greatest emptiness had taken place when she left.

Elsa was no longer in Arendelle... and at first Anna had thought that it was the right thing for both of them, that her absence would allow her to continue with her life as if a part of her soul didn’t already belong to Elsa, as if her soul mate, her True Love, wasn’t necessary for her to remain alive.

Anna arrived at the portrait room, the old armchair where she spent hours as a child was still there. With a sad smile she sat down on it again. Her old friend, her confidant, received her as before, with a comfort she hadn’t realized she needed. It was curious to think that so many years ago she would have resorted to portraits on the walls to try to cope with the anguish that being separated from Elsa caused her and now, many years later, the situation was the same again.

There, in the lonely room where the mute paintings accompanied the queen's musings with undaunted silence... there, Anna remembered...

She was just six years old, a year from when Elsa had started to seclude herself in her room, a year since she no longer wanted to play with her. Little Anna wandered the corridors, hoping to run into her sister and strike up a totally casual conversation, as casual as a six-year-old Anna could make it. Maybe Elsa could explain what was happening, right? surely there would be a reasonable explanation for all this. If only Elsa could tell her what it was that she had done wrong, so Anna could apologize and everything would go back to how it was before. But as much as Anna walked tirelessly through the corridors, Elsa seemed to avoid her every time. The redhead had only caught simple sightings of her sister while she was attending piano practices, or when she was going to the classroom to take classes from the governess. She only saw her sister's blond hair disappear behind corners, her braid getting longer and longer, her body getting taller and slimmer.

Thus spent Anna's childhood and much of her adolescence, chasing a memory, a feeling. Around her sixteenth birthday Anna could no longer deny that her habit of pursuing the shadow of her sister wasn’t normal, it was not something that all siblings did. She already knew every corner of the castle and knew the crown princess's schedule even better than her own. Although it was difficult for her to get up early, she was always hidden under the small table in the north hall for when Elsa, after having breakfast, went to the morning meeting in their father's study where he guided her through the intricate mazes of diplomacy. At 11 o'clock, Elsa practiced piano for an hour before lunch and Anna would sit on the floor outside the music room door listening to her sister play slow, sad pieces. After lunch, when the hours seemed to pass with devastating calm, Anna knew that Elsa would seclude herself in the library. Elsa used to close the door but her little sister was content to see her enter the library from behind the third armor in the hallway. There were days when the sun would come in just the right way and illuminate Elsa's blonde hair making it look like shimmering golden strands. At 17, Elsa was still tall and slender, with curves in the right places, and teenage Anna, with all her hormones at full display, had noticed each of those details… intensely .

Anna remembered that she began to sigh in love every time she caught a glimpse of her sister's silhouette around that age. Although she obviously didn’t know what she meant at the time, years later she would realize that everything she felt since then was True Love.

And years later she would continue in the same situation, this time with more experience (she had lived through love and disappointments, she knew what true love was and how it ran through her body making it dance with happiness), with memories to hold onto, memories that they had built with Elsa in those three years in which they were inseparable, with more anxiety because she knew that now she couldn't even get those glimpses of her silhouette in the corners. Elsa was no longer with her.

A lonely tear spilled down her cheek without asking for permission and Queen Anna made a monumental effort so that the cracked dam that contained all her anguish would not end up collapsing. She had to be strong for her kingdom, for her people. She had to resist that almost permanent pull, of getting her horse and riding north where her heart lay. Anna clenched her fists against the flowery upholstery of the sofa and stifled a broken sob. Why did she fall in love with the one person she couldn't have?


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello Joan!" Anna said, standing up suddenly and energetically cleaning the trail of the shed tear "It's been a long time since I came to see you... to see you all"

As always, silence was the only answer. And as always, that was not the reason why Anna talked to the portraits.

"Yes, I know... I know" the Queen said with a sigh, "I could have come to visit you from time to time but, you see, I've been very busy"

The redhead winked at a painting of a lady in a swing.

"You see, I am the Queen of Arendelle now. I have many responsibilities"

...

"No..., Elsa is no longer in the castle. She has other responsibilities, she abdicated the throne... at least in practice, she is still Queen"

...

"What other responsibilities? Well... well, she's in the forest... or in the glacier... or both?”

...

"Her work is very important. She is the fifth spirit and she must take care of the other spirits."

...

"I have no idea exactly what she does, she hasn't told me, but I'm sure it's something that can't be avoided."

Anna started pacing the room looking at the paintings.

"I know what you're thinking..." she said as she stood in front of a painting of a group having a picnic on a garden "of course I miss her. I miss her so much it hurts"

...

"No, I can't tell her that, Joan. I'm not going to get in the way of her destiny. Even if that means I have to face this all alone."

...

"She is happy there, in Ahtohallan, with the memories"

...

"Yes, I also thought she was happy here in Arendelle... with me"

...

"But apparently that's not the case"

...

"Oh, thank you for asking kind sir" Anna told the painting of a gentleman who was smiling warmly from a high chair. "Kristoff and I are doing great... he proposed"

Anna extended her arm toward the painting and showed the ring Kristoff had given her a few months ago. The orange stone shimmered as it caught a ray of sunlight and Anna felt the jewel heavy, oppressive.

"We'll be getting married soon. We haven't set a date yet, but there's no rush. I don't want to end up with twenty babies before I reach thirty."

The Queen couldn’t prevent a bitter grimace from creeping across her freckled features.

...

"He's in the barn with Sven now... he spends a lot of time there. The other day he told me something about the castle beds being too soft."

...

"Of course when we are married I won’t sleep on straw, I am the Queen for heaven's sake!"

...

"I wonder where Elsa sleeps. She always preferred pillows filled with goose feathers and cotton puffs."

Anna smiled mischievously "Two years ago Elsa had all the pillows changed for a special occasion. The royal family from a neighboring kingdom visited us. She was in every detail, the castle was full of life with the preparations and decorations "

...

"She even gave me a to-do list for me to help her out. It was the first big responsibility she delegated to me and it felt great to have that responsibility!"

...

"No, not like now. It was fun because we worked side by side. We complemented each other and everything was perfect"

Ana looked at a painting that portrayed a ball in the dance hall of Arendelle’s castle, the scene was painted with all the details of the place she knew so well "

"That night we danced..."

...

"Oh? Didn't I tell you?" she asked Joan "Well…, it was wonderful!"

The Queen's teal eyes lit up and her gaze was lost in memory of her sister.

"It was all Elsa's idea... Kristoff hadn't wanted to dance with me even if I asked him and had left early because the suit bothered him. By the time half of the guests had already left for the night and the candles had almost burned out, she approached me and offered me her hand"

...

Anna looked at the painting of the blushing maiden receiving an invitation very similar to the one she was describing.

"Elsa was radiant that night. She was wearing one of the dresses I gave her, decorated with her ice. She had silver threads woven between her braid and her train was embroidered with a mixture of snowflakes and sunflowers."

...

"I know..." Anna said to Joan blushing. "When she asked me to dance with her I thought she was joking but then she took my hand and led me to the center of the room. When she put her arm around me I thought I was going to pass out!"

...

"Oh Joan! You have no idea how wonderful it was. We glided around the room as if we were alone... unfortunately, it ended very soon"

Anna walked through the room again and stopped in front of the painting of the couple lying on a blanket, they looked so happy and she felt her heart break a little more.

"Last spring we went to one of the hills south of town and spent the day in the countryside..."

...

"Yes Joan, just her and me" she giggled. "I really thought something would happen that time"

...

"I can tell you but you should keep it a secret, no one else knows about this"

...

"Of course I trust you, Joan" this time the laugh was sad "That day we had lunch under an old oak, Olaf was chasing butterflies..."

...

"No, Kristiff didn't come with us. It was a sisters' only afternoon." she huffed.

…

"After lunch we decided to stay on the blanket, enjoying the warm sun that filtered through the tree's canopy. It was a lazy afternoon, we needed the brake. The weather was perfect, it felt like the warmth of the sun embraced us. Elsa took my hand and we were like that for almost two hours. At some point we fell asleep and when I woke up we were face to face, hugging. Elsa looked at me so intensely that it almost melted my soul. To think that the Ice Queen has the ability to melt me is... "

...

A deep sigh.

"I shouldn't remember these things, Joan. It hurts."

A knock on the door let her know that a servant was looking for her.

"Come in"

"Your majesty, the Secretary of Commerce has arrived, he is waiting for you in your studio"

Anna nodded and the servant left, aware that his Queen preferred solitude lately.

"I'll be back later" Anna said after another weary sigh. Adopting her royal posture, she headed for the door.

...

Anna stopped and turned her head in the direction of the painting of the legendary heroine.

"Of course I love her, Joan" she said and then started back on her way. "I’ll always do"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I find writing from Anna's perspective very interesting. I would like to continue this fic, but I can't promise anything, life is complicated right now.


End file.
